How to Potty Train Your Toddler with Success: 6 Practical Tips

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Has the time come to potty train your toddler? If so, welcome friend! This is a big milestone, both for you and them. After my experience potty training my son, I thought it only fair to share the tips and tricks that worked for us so you can feel confident when starting this journey, because it IS a journey.

Before we jump into the good stuff, I want to be fully transparent. Potty training (for us) was not all sunshine and rainbows. In all honesty, it was harder than I ever expected and there were times when I wanted to break down and cry (and I did). My hope here is that I can share the things that worked and didn’t work for us, so you can feel more confident than I did, but also give yourself grace throughout this process.

I never really thought potty training would be just as hard on us parents as it is our kiddos, but I learned that to be the case. Don’t get me wrong, this is a BIG adjustment for kids. They’re having to learn something completely new and adjust to a new norm than what they’ve been doing for however long. For us, it was 3 years. That’s a lot of pressure! But it’s also hard on us parents, mentally, emotionally, and maybe physically. I highly recommend going into it with a positive and encouraging mindset. 

Now…I didn’t realize how much we (parents) took diapers for granted until we officially started potty training. I thought I was sooooo ready to give them up, but let me tell you—friend…diapers make some things a lot easier. Why? Because toddlers just go as they please, and we have control over when we change them. Now, we changed our son’s diapers after every poop or every 2-hours, but still, we didn’t have to tell him when to go or wait on him. But now, he is in complete control over if or when he goes, and all we can do is encourage or support.

I’m not trying to scare you into not potty training. It has to come sooner or later, but I just want to be honest about some things that we maybe took for granted and the reality of this new change. And if this is your first time potty training, I want you to be fully equipped and prepared for the journey ahead.

“Prepared for what”, you ask? Ev-ery-thing! Be prepared with necessary potty supplies, a change in your regular routine, to potentially clean up some big messes, extra tantrums (yours or theirs), and to relinquish control you maybe didn’t realize you were holding onto.

Okay, let’s get into it and talk about pre-potty training.

According to our pediatrician (who we LOVE), here are the 6 tell-tell signs that toddlers are ready to potty train:

• Would vocalize that they’re going potty in their diaper or need to go
• Are having fewer wet diapers, staying dryer longer
• Pull at or taking off their diaper
• Asking to change or wear underwear
• Showing interest in using the potty
• Hiding to go pee or poop

Our son had all the signs, besides hiding to pee or poop. Our little one just openly said “I have to poop!” no matter where we were and went right then and there. If your kiddo is showing all the symptoms, here are the tips I will share prior to officially potty training your toddler.

Tip #1: Start talking about potty

Listen, our family doesn’t shy away from awkward conversations or things that society would deem “taboo”. We talk about body parts and we talk about poop because they’re just a part of life. And while we close the door when using the bathroom, it stays unlocked, so our son will often come in (he typically asks first, which is a nice warning before a tiny one comes barging in while you're on the loo). Do whatever is most comfortable for you, but we found that letting him in and talking about the process actually set him up for success. Just a simple “I have to go potty” or “I have to go pee” is super helpful because it exposes them to that language and helps them learn what we do when we feel the urge.

Every family has their own way of doing things, but for us, our son could talk himself through the following by the time we started potty training:

1. Saying he had to use the bathroom
2. Walking (or running) to the bathroom and closing the door
3. Lifting the lid or putting his seat down
4. Standing to pee or sitting to poop
5. Pulling down/up his underwear and pants
6. Closing the lid (ALL lids because gross, germs)
7. Flushing the toilet
8. Washing his hands

Now, all of this worked for us and from our potty training experience, I’d say it was really helpful and laid the foundation of how to use the potty, once he got to that stage.

Tip #2: Introduce a toddler-friendly potty

Some use a little floor potty, a toddler seat with handles, a mini urinal for the boys, or a built-in toddler seat on your current toilet (just change the lid). We had everything but the urinal (I know, overkill) but ultimately opted for the built-in toddler seat in the end because our son was showing more interest in the big toilet. He said he wanted to “go like daddy goes”, so big potty it was. 

Tip #3: Let them practice sitting on the potty

We chose to introduce sitting on the potty long before we officially potty trained. I got our potty supplies about 6 months in advance because, well…Amazon Black Friday sale. So, every now and then, our son would ask to sit on his seats, and that’s really when we took the time to try out all the different ones to see which he liked best. It wasn’t until we officially potty trained that he actually went on the toilet. Not saying this is the correct way to do it, but it was just our unintentional way of going about it. 

What you choose is totally up to you, and your toddler. The most important thing is that they feel comfortable with their choice, so their body can feel relaxed once they start to train. 

Tip #4: Choose a potty training date

From one mama to another (or dad, grandma, aunt…whoever), the last thing you want to do is start this journey unprepared. That means gather the necessary supplies you need but also check your calendar. If you know there’s some big event coming up, like holidays, travel plans, moving, new baby arriving, etc…just wait. 

It’s harder on everyone if you can’t fully commit to this journey because of upcoming life events. So if you’re that mama saying “but our schedule doesn’t fully open up for another 4 months!”, then start in 4 months, friend. If there’s two things I can promise you, it’s that:

1. You won’t want the pressure on yourself to have your kiddo potty trained by a certain date
2. Your little one doesn’t deserve to be rushed into this to fit your schedule

Having a set date also gives you time to mentally (and emotionally) prepare, as well as prepare your kiddo by talking about it. And don't get me wrong, I understand some people have to have their toddler potty trained by a certain date in order for them to go to school. I promise, they will get there. But set them up for success and give them plenty of time before that date arrives.

Tip #5: Plan a special trip to the store for prizes

For us, this added a fun element to potty training for our son. He was so excited to pick out his own juices, candy, and small prizes. Now, we didn’t let him go crazy and pick out big candy bars and big expensive toys. I gave him options, and he picked what he wanted. We ended up going with Honest Apple Juice, M&M’s, Reese Pieces, Hershey Kisses (for poop), and a few small toy cars (also for poop). 

He even picked out his Star Jar, so he felt very involved in the whole process and had something to be excited about. When we got home, we got everything set up and he was ready for one last sleep before potty training.

Tip #6: Don’t make any plans that first week

The reality of potty training is that every kid is different, so while I hope my tips and advice can be helpful to you, your little one’s experience may be totally opposite of ours. That’s neither good or bad, it just is. But one thing I can say for certain is that NOT making a single plan that first week was one of the best things we did for us parents and our toddler.

While it was nice to have no plans (besides the obvious), I’ll admit that we got cabin fever. By day 3, we desperately wanted to get out of the house, but it helps your little one have a safe and comfortable environment to learn without added pressure and expectations.

There’s no right or wrong day of the week to start. We chose to live it up the weekend before and officially start on a Monday. For some, it may be better to start on a weekend so you know you have those 2 days off work. Again, choose the dates that work for your family, and go from there. I had friends who had to use a week’s vacation so they could potty train without distraction, and sometimes that’s just the case. I promise you, life goes on. 

Truth Bomb: the first few days are the hardest

I’ll be honest–I had a mini panic attack on day 2. While the first day was hard, day 2 (for us) was harder, and everyone was getting frustrated and overwhelmed. But we powered through, talked about our feelings, and took a lot of deep breaths (and gave lots of hugs and high-fives). 

I promise you, they can do this, and so can you! Here are the things that we used and loved, and would highly recommend. The Star Jar is probably our most loved item, besides the toilet…obviously 🙂

Our potty Training supplies for home

• Built-in toddler seat (plastic or wood)
• Toddler toilet
• Flushable wipes
• Boxer trunks or briefs (optional for the first 3 days)
• Book basket (let them pick them out, to make it fun)
• Potty prize (sweet treat, small toy…whatever works!)
• Star jar or potty chart
• Pull-ups (I’ll get to this)
• Loose fitting pants/shorts
• Water bottle (they'll need lots and lots of liquid)
• Carpet cleaner (trust me on this)

Travel potty Training supplies

• Toilet suction seat (our favorite)
• Travel toddler toilet (for the car)
• Wipes
• Dry/Wet bag
• Training underwear
• Training seat cover
• Mini urinal (for the boys)
• Extra sets of clothes
• Extra sets of underwear 

You can shop our entire essentials list here! We got everything from Amazon, which made life so much easier on us parents. Thank God for 1 to 2-day shipping!

Now, let me break down our process so you can actually have some takeaways from this.

Potty Training Routine: Days 1 – 3

When morning comes, let them throw away their own diaper and say “bye-bye”. They’re a big boy/girl now, and it’s important they feel proud of that!

• After they throw away the diaper, let them go sit on the potty. Chances are they won’t go, but this helps them get in the habit of going first thing in the morning
• NO underwear or pants. If your kid is like mine, they don’t like being naked, but just give them fun activities and it will distract them. Remember…baby steps. We’ll introduce pants later
• Try setting a 20 minute timer, as a reminder to go try and pee. *ding ding ding* “Okay, it’s potty time!”. If they go, great! If not, just reset it and try again in another 20 minutes. (Encourage them to tell you when they have to go)
• Let them sit for about 20-30 seconds before giving up. We found it helpful to take a big deep breath (to relax their body), and count to 20 or sing a short song like the ABC’s
• Nap-time/Nighttime: get that pull-up out or “potty pants”—whatever you want to call them! Just remember, we said goodbye to diapers, so try to refrain from using that word. Potty training for sleep is a totally different ball field, which comes much later, so don’t worry about that until your little one starts consistently waking up with dry pull-ups

If they go potty, celebrate the heck out of them! Do a potty dance, sing a potty song—whatever you need to do to help them feel proud of themselves!

We let our son put a “star in the jar” and gave him a small piece of candy of his choice when he went. We typically don’t over-do-it with candy, but this is a BIG deal and should feel like one to them, which is why we had that special trip to the store. And don’t worry about having to keep this up for long. Our rule was, once we filled the jar, we did away with the candy prizes. But ultimately, you have to do what’s best for your family.

If they have an accident (ours did), don’t make it a big deal! If you catch them having an accident, simply scoop them up and carry them to the potty. Let them know that it’s okay and happens, but when they feel the sensation next time, head to the bathroom so they can understand the two go together. Gotta pee, gotta poop? To the bathroom we go!

Don’t stress about the mess, just get out the carpet cleaner. If you need a minute to breathe so you don’t let your toddler see you frustrated and lose your ish, then walk away and do that. Remember, this is all new and they shouldn’t feel ashamed or embarrassed if they didn’t make it to the potty in time. Can you imagine trying something for the first time and being scolded or yelled at for not doing it correctly? It wouldn’t feel good.

In our house, we don’t do perfect—we do real. And guess what friends, accidents and mistakes are real. The last thing you want is your toddler associating the potty with being yelled at or feeling shame. So, put on your understanding hat and talk calmly to your toddler so they can understand and learn from it. I promise, your tone of voice matters and they will pick up on any frustrating or disappointment you're feeling.

Potty Training: Day 1

The night before, talk up potty training like it’s going to be so exciting! Also use this as a time to help them feel prepared and confident. “We’re going to get rid of our diapers and start going potty in the toilet tomorrow! You’re going to do SO great, and I’m going to be right here the whole time to help you!”

Talk it up, and cheer them on. This really sets the stage, helping them feel like they can do it before they’ve even started. If you know your toddler is going to be scared and nervous, I highly recommend reading some potty books in advance to ease their nerves and help them understand this is just a normal part of growing up.

When morning comes, let them throw away their own diaper and say “bye-bye”. They’re a big boy/girl now, and it’s important they feel proud of that!

Potty Training: Day 2

Okay…this day was our hardest. Mostly because our son just begged for his diaper back, and us parents got frustrated and overstimulated. We did all the same things as the day before and he was already peeing in the potty like a champ. But…he did NOT want to poop in the potty. In fact, he said multiple times on day 1 that he had to poop, but he just wouldn’t go when on the toilet. To be honest, I wasn’t sure what to do because our son was super regular—sometimes 2x a day even, so holding it didn’t seem right. We all know what that feels like, and it’s not a good feeling, and I should’ve listened to my mama gut. 

“So, how the heck did you navigate that?” you ask. By staying calm and seeking professional medical help from our pediatrician. I’ll talk more about this, but don’t make the mistake I did and just wait it out until he goes on the potty. This tactic can ruin the whole process for them, making them fear the toilet and leading to serious medical issues.

Though it wasn’t until the evening of day 2 (he kept holding it), he finally pooped and we thought “okay, we got this!”. Day 3 was going to be a piece of cake! 

Potty Training: Day 3

On day 3, peeing in the potty started to feel like second nature to him. He knew what the sensation feeling meant and that he had to go in the potty, and he did! Again, we were still doing most things from day 1, except we stopped using the timer and pulled back on the liquid since he was understanding.

But…we were back to holding our poop. Because of this, we chose to continue to stay inside and stay naked. *cue the cabin fever* It felt like we were backtracking, when he had just gone the day before. He was saying he had to go, but wouldn’t let himself. 

Potty Training: Day 4

We finally introduced pants again (loose fitting), and could go in the yard to play! Nothing like the feeling of the warm sun after a few days bottled up inside.

He was peeing like a champ, and to be honest, I didn’t stress about going potty in public. He knew he didn’t like being wet after having that one accident, and he’d been doing so great vocalizing that he had to go. But we still needed to poop.

So here’s what I did…I bribed him. “You did not?!” I sure as heck did, and I don’t feel an ounce of guilt for it. I told him, “Buddy, if you can poop in the potty today, you can pick out a toy from Target!”. His little face lit UP! “Yike right now, mama?”. Abso-freaking-lutely, right now. So we tried…and tried…and tried to poop. Toy bribe and all, he would not go. And I know what you’re thinking. “Didn’t you already let him pick out a toy?” Yes…yes we did. Listen, I was trying anything and it didn’t feel like a tiny car was going to do the trick.

Truth be told, our little guy was scared. This, pooping on the potty, was the biggest change for him. He would often stand in his pull-up to pee, so standing to go in the potty just came more naturally to him. But pooping…he didn’t like doing it while sitting. He finally said to me “I’m cared, mama”, in the saddest little voice. I burst into a puddle of tears, my mama heart hurt so bad.

I felt like a failure. I felt like I was the one to cause that fear, that I wasn’t doing a good enough job cheering him on or encouraging him that he could do it. I learned that, while I was doing a good job encouraging him, I wasn’t supporting him how he needed by letting him hold it. And I knew that was a cycle that’s hard to break and a situation we didn’t want to continue to find ourselves in.

After his nap that day, he finally pooped again but it was a struggle (physically). I could tell it hurt, and he was traumatized. To him, holding it didn’t mean pooping hurt—pooping in the potty meant it hurt, and that had to change. So, off to the doctor we went. But first, Target!!

Leaving the house while potty training

Since this was our first outing in public, I made sure I had all the travel essentials packed. The diaper bag we no longer used was pulled back out and packed with our foldable potty seat, flushable wipes, 2 changes of clothes, and 2 sets of underwear. We also put him in training pants for that first outing…just in case.

Before we left the house, we made sure to go pee or at least try. We succeeded! If your kiddo doesn't go before you leave the house, have them try as soon as you get to where you're going.

Now, we weren’t going on a 2-hour drive, so even though we had his travel potty in the car, we knew we wouldn’t need it for this trip. 

We knew where we were going, how long the drive would be, and where the potty was when we got there. I wasn’t stressed about it, and it turned out to be a great first trip!

Let’s talk about poop Training

The truth about poop training…it’s not the same as potty training, or “pee” training.

We may take it for granted as adults, but they’re two very different skills. Some kids may pick it up just as easy as peeing, others may take several weeks, months, or even a year. “Oh great, don’t tell me that, Hannah!”

That’s why I’m going to share what we learned and the tips that helped us during this journey. 

No matter what, remember to be supportive and encouraging. Yelling, shaming, or punishing are not welcome, so kiss any thought of that goodbye.

Our motto was “poop is not painful” because up until now, it was. And to our son, that’s what was scary. The new skill of pooping while sitting was uncomfortable, which led to holding our poop, which led to poop being painful. We had to undo this before it got any worse.

So, here are the poop training tips that worked for us (recommended by our very loved Pediatrician), that led to our son being poop trained in 3 weeks.

• 1-2 Tsp of Mirlax powder mixed in 3-4oz of water or juice, given first thing in the morning (this was because he had been holding his poop, which he didn’t normally do, so our doctor said there’s likely a lot of build up). We started with 1 Tsp, then bumped it to 2 Tsp the second day and that was his magic measurement. The key here is DO NOT stop the Mirlax until they are poop trained, but of course, consult with your doctor first. I'm sure there are plenty of other options if you don't want to use Mirlax.
• When your little one tells you they have to poop, take the underwear off and put them in a pull-up. Our son didn’t have a designated poop spot, but many kids have places where they feel most comfortable. Let them go there. Once they go, CHEER THEM ON, take them to the bathroom to wipe (so they associate potty business with bathroom), put their underwear back on, give them a potty prize. If they say they have to pee with the pull-up on, encourage them to keep using the potty, but poop in the pull-up for now.
• After 2-3 days of pooping in their pull-up, move to the bathroom. So now, when your toddler says they have to poop, put their pull-up on IN the bathroom so they can associate poop=bathroom. See where I'm going with this? So you start with the pull-up and pooping in their comfort spot, but still bringing them to the bathroom after. Now, we're still keeping that pull-up on but actually going poop in the bathroom. They may not go right away, so get those books out or tell them a story. Our son loves when we tell him stories, so that would often help relax him. Remember, be patient.
• After a couple days of going in the bathroom, graduate to the toilet BUT keep them IN their pull-up. This re-introduces the sitting concept while pooping, which we want them to learn is not painful—it’s just new. The whole point is you want them to feel comfortable sitting and pooping. So however many days it takes until they feel good about it, do it for that amount of time.
• Once they’ve got down pooping ON the potty IN the pull-up, then the last step is to take that pull-up off and go IN the potty. Keep up those positive affirmations and encouragement because they need to feel confident about it. Again, if you need to sit and read a book then do that. Make up a poop song if you have to–whatever you need to do to help them feel confident and relaxed. We told our son “you got this!” and now, when he’s really trying to relax, he will tell himself “I got yis!”. *cue the puddle of tears again* I’m going to miss the days when he can correctly pronounce certain letters.

They can do this, and so can you

Remember, this does not happen overnight. It may not even happen in a week, a month, or 6 months, but it WILL happen. I promise you, they will get this, and these days that you wished away will finally be over. But you’ll wish for these hard days to be back just so they can be little again. It may not feel like it in the moment, but it all goes by so quickly. As everyone has heard, our kids get one childhood, and it's our responsibility to love them well, even through hard moments. They're counting on us.

Potty and poop training are a lot of work. It’s mentally and emotionally exhausting, some days physically. But friend, you can do this. Your sweet kiddo can do this. So many parents have been where you are now, and while no child is the same, most parents know how much work it is.

Give yourself grace, and know that you’ve got this. I’m rooting for you.

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